Addictions and Character

Last summer, as I was preparing to return to CMU for my final year as an RA, our lovely housefellow, whom I adore and look up with the utmost respect and admiration, had each staff member write up a brief essay in the style of the wonderful book This I Believe. If you've never read the book, go buy it on Amazon right now. It will fuel your desire to enact positive change in the world and will leave you with the realization that, while the economy may not always be the best, people are always good, in some fashion, if you dig deep enough. After thinking long and hard about what I believe at the core of my being, I came up with the following phrase: "I believe in judging less and in playing more." Tonight, and this past week in general, brought to mind this aspiration of mine.

In a world where people come from different cultural, political, religious, and fiscal backgrounds, not to mention personal experiences, joys, and catastrophes, judgment is practically ingrained in our kindergarten lunch boxes. I remember feeling embarrassed in grade school because the "cool kids" had things like fruit roll-ups and gushers and lunchables, while I had homemade (read: self-made) turkey-and-mustard sandwiches, generally smushed, and apples, with the occasional bag of fun-pack doritos. Judgment is something which we project onto others, and, often with the longest lasting damage, on ourselves. So tonight, I reiterate the importance of saving the judgment. Put it away on a shelf with the things you don't need. Let it collect dust, and let it be forgotten behind the brighter aspects of your livelihood, like the little trinkets and macaroni art from your children. Instead of judging, get to work playing. We started playing before we started judging, and I am constantly striving to return to that place.

While I may not always understand why that man has to lean on his horn in rush hour traffic, or why that bitter woman wears a scowl as she hurries down the street, I assume only that people have their reasons. Are their actions excusable because of an unfortunate morning or past? No. However, neither is a lack of compassion on my part excusable.

Underneath the seemingly unaffected facade is someone who feels lost and alone, under the strict restaurant manager is an ex-heroine addict who has to run a tight ship because he is grateful for someone giving him a chance, and under the jovial playboy is an illegal immigrant who worries but cannot return home to visit his mother, who is in the hospital with a serious heart condition. Even for myself, under the busybody who stays cheery and optimistic is a five-year-old girl who feels a little like hiding under the covers sometimes. Although it may be faster and easier to assume, take the time to look a little closer. Patience eventually produces understanding, and understanding, in turn, reflects compassion.