Having Raw Knuckles

I have raw knuckles right now. No, this is not a result of me taking a few swings at a Los Angeles local, although I must admit, as much as I believe in nonviolence, I have been tempted a few times.

This morning, while waiting upstairs in the gym where I teach private yoga, I noticed a speed bag on the wall. A speed bag is used in boxing to focus and to become more accurate with punches, as you may have seen in the very touching film, "Million Dollar Baby." During my senior year of high school, while in England, I would often go to the gym and swing at the speed bag for forty-five minutes without blinking an eye; there is something so very therapeutic about the natural cadence your body falls into as you watch the ball and release your stresses with each successive swing. You must focus on hitting the target, and all of your other worries and concerns fall by the wayside as your focus sharpens on the red lacing of the leather, floating eternally, like a pendulum, between you and the blankness of the white wall on the other side.

After hitting the speedbag this morning for about five minutes, growing calmer and more acute with each jab, I decided to stop in order to get ready for yoga. Although I had felt light tinging in my knuckles while puching, it wasn't until I stopped and looked down that I realized eight of my ten knuckles were raw, with a hint of crimson peeking through. I had been so focused that I didn't even notice.

I think that having bruised knuckles this morning was a good metaphor for where I find myself in life. In all honesty, if I slow down, I realize that I am tired and could use a bit more sleep. I realize that I am sore from working out more and more. I realize that I have very little food and very little money. Yet I don't notice these obstacles through the smile that keeps bursting through as a result of being focused on my dream. The pursuit of the dream and the small yet steady steps toward achieving it keep me moving forward, rather than backward.

Sometimes, I am grateful for raw knuckles.