Extra on "Criminal Minds"

This past Wednesday, I had my first job as an extra on the show "Criminal Minds". Although the drive to set should have taken forty-five minutes tops, seeing as Los Angeles traffic is absolutely unpredictable, I decided to leave at 5:30pm for a 7pm call time. When I arrived at fifteen til seven, I was highly grateful for this rare foresight on my part. After waiting in the off-site parking lot until around seven fifteen, we all drove over to the set together in a little caravan, as the show was using the group of us as car extras (they were aiming to create the situation that the talent was stuck in LA traffic which, as I could attest at this point, is not at all uncommon).

Wouldn't you know that, once on set, they parked me right behind the "lead vehicle" (yes, even automobiles get status assignments in Hollywood). So I sat in my dust-covered Honda in the dusky evening light, parked on a little residential street with my headlights on and my foot on the break, windows rolled down, surrounded by curious neighbors ogling and snapping pictures of the scenario, and watched the talent act through their right side mirror (Thomas Gibson and Paget Brewster, both sporting bulletproof vests for the shot). After an hour or so, the director wanted to change up the lineup of cars for another shot, and wouldn't you know that they parked my car right alongside the lead car. As the crew set up external lighting and checked the lights and microphones inside of the lead car, one of the stand-ins seated in the car next to me, a smug, muttering man who, with his sweater and slicked-back hair and hard look of arrogance, could have been cast perfectly as a Nazi in a WWII film, assured me that I had to join SAG and that not doing so was idiotic and would cut me off with work. I smiled politely and agreed, keeping in mind that roughly eighty percent of SAG actors are unemployed at any given time, and kindly reminded him that most of the upcoming shows this fall are AFTRA anyways. He scoffed and then tried to give me advice on being a stunt performer which, given his physical appearance and whiney attitude, I am sure he had absolutely no knowledge of whatsoever. Oh, actors. Give a guy a role as a stand-in on a television show, and he suddenly thinks he's Marlon Brando or Laurence Olivier.

The stand-ins then departed, and as I took a deep breath of gratitude for having some degree of humility, Joe Mantegna strolled up next to my window, peered in, and asked, "so how are you doing this evening?" I was stunned. Joe Mantegna, the star of "Criminal Minds", and a well-known actor, was speaking to me. He sat in the car, as the series regular (whom I could not identify by name, but whom I recognized) sat in the driver's seat, peered over toward my car with an air of intrigue, and said, "well geez, I guess they could have parked us next to someone worse-looking. What's your name, hun?"

We continued to talk throughout the next half hour or so, as I divulged that I had only been in Los Angeles for a few months and explained that this was my first night on set. Joe explained that he had worked with Stephen Shwartz, another esteemed and famous alum of Carnegie Mellon, on the original "Godspell" (as well as "Working", which has some beautiful music). Before my car got moved, I gave each of them a business card. While this may have been a shot in the dark, it definitely didn't hurt anything.

About an hour later, and just before we wrapped up, the series regular, on his way to pay the much-loved taco guy a visit down the block, saw me in my car and made a point of coming over to talk to me. "Chelsea, who took your headshots?" As my headshots are featured on my card, I explained that a classmate had taken them back at school. "You need to get new ones," he answered, in complete earnest. "You are much, much prettier than this. Find a photographer out here and get new headshots. You will be doing yourself a favor. Have a good night." And with that, he smiled, waved, and meandered over toward the sizzling pulled pork and tomatillo salsa. I smiled to myself, amazed that he had actually taken the time to come over and give me such honest advice, and made my way back to base camp. I returned the orange tank top I had borrowed from wardrobe, got my waiver signed off on, and started the hour-long drive home in the cool, California summer air. I was on cloud nine. Not bad for my first day on set as an extra.

Adding to the wishlist: new headshots.